Life tends to be overwhelming at times no matter what season of life you are in. And it reminded me how stressful infertility can be. Very stressful in fact. Days can be filled with checking and charting and worry and overall obsession. Plus the fact that we tend to talk about it with our husbands constantly and maybe some friends that are going through the same thing. Or if we don't have friends, there is a huge online network of infertility groups and forums where you can also worry about what other people are going through. All of this built up worry and over thinking can really bog down not only your life, but who you really are.
So, before it gets to that point, you need to take a day off. And if you are already to that point, you really need to take a day off! Nothing can refresh you more than taking a day and doing something you love. Go out with a friend to dinner, (just make sure to tell her beforehand there is to be no baby talk!) take your husband bowling, walk along the beach (oh, how I miss summer!) or just head to a friends house for a day of chatting. And just a little tip - talking about the past always brings more fun! Who doesn't love to laugh at all the things you did when you were a kid? Maybe have a no kids night at the parents house and watch old home movies!
Being absent from infertility for a day can boost your mood and really give you a rejuvenated spirit.
Most importantly of all, if you are really struggling (anger, jealousy, contempt), spend a day with the Lord. Go outside or to a quiet place in your home and spend time reading the bible and praying. Let him know how you feel, cry out your struggles, even tell him how much you hate what you've been going through. (believe me, He already knows your heart and any anger inside, so it's really no surprise to Him) If you allow yourself to really let go of the feelings you harbor, you'll be amazed at what a new person you really become. Plus, when it all comes down to it, we actually have no control over our fertility. He does. And if you feel like there is a hole in your life, that something is missing, he is the only one that will ever truly fill it.
What have you done to keep your mind off trying to conceive?
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I tend to cycle with being focused on trying to conceive and then being okay with the issues.
Nothing seems to help like having other things going on in life! When you're close and connected to other people who have big problems, well, infertility doesn't seem like the worst thing that could happen to me. :)
So when I'm getting too focused, it is good to either hang out with others, as you mentioned, or get myself a project going. This fall I've been studying gardening books. If my mind is fixated on one subject (whether infertility or anything else) simply introducing other subjects helps....
I planned a trip! Since it had been taking so long and we had just payed off all of my student debt, we decided to go all out and plan a second honeymoon since our first one should be a comedy movie. :)
Planning a huge trip (we went to Scotland and Italy) took so much time and effort, especially since I was trying to do it on a shoestring budget, and it was so exciting for me that it definitely did help me to take my mind off it.
Another thing that was really helpful was that around the year mark, my doctor forbid me from charting. He said I needed to just relax and take a break. Turns out he was right. We finally conceived that month! :)
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