I have had friends and family that have loved me and supported me through these trying times. The ones who have been in my shoes before often times give me advice that are like balm to an open sore. But sometimes words can sting a bit too, even though they may be said with love. Though mostly they are said to fill the silence and try to minimize grief.

And maybe you’ve never experienced the loss of a baby, either by miscarriage or stillbirth. It can feel awkward not knowing what to say. I was once there too, having friends lose little ones and feeling like I was supposed to say something, yet trying to make sure I didn’t cause additional pain. Tripping over my words, everything seeming so hollow.

A while ago I asked my Facebook Friends to help me with this post and give me some of the things that people should and shouldn’t say. The problem with this list is that we all grieve differently, what may hurt one woman might not affect another.

You Shouldn’t:

• You shouldn’t ask: “were you trying?” It’s just completely irrelevant, and parents fall in love with their babies whether they’ve been trying for a long time or when they are ‘planned’.

• You shouldn’t: avoid them or pretend like it never happened. Yes, the couple may still be grieving and it may be awkward, but please don’t ignore the them. Saying nothing about their loss makes them feel more invisible or like the baby didn’t matter.

• You shouldn’t say: “It’s for the best/ It’s better this way.” Would you say this to someone who lost a parent or spouse to cancer? What about someone who lost a friend or relative in a car accident? Did those people die because it is somehow better that they did? The loss of this little baby is the loss of a person, and no grieving parent wants to hear that their child died because it’s better this way.

• You shouldn’t say: “there was probably something wrong with the baby.” Because no matter the disease, disorder, or handicap, the parent still misses their dear child. They would gladly welcome a special needs baby to their family.
  

• You shouldn’t say: “better luck next time.” This was actually mentioned a couple of times, so I thought I’d better include it. Though it seems so rude. I guess there are some pretty unsympathetic people out there.
  

• You shouldn’t say: “there will be more chances in the future.” or “you’re young you will have more.” No one has a “crystal ball”, no one knows the will of God. While you feel that this may help a hurting heart, it in fact minimizes their grief, and may not necessarily be true.
  

“This pregnancy, THIS child was special, loved and lost. It takes time to grieve that loss before considering trying another time to bring another life into the world. It’s not a ring toss. It’s a baby. Trying again has a much different context in that regard.” -Real Food Whole Health

• You shouldn’t say: “at least you have other kids.” Yes, to a couple that has other children, their sweet little ones here may be of some comfort. But they still miss THIS child and had dreams for THIS child.

• You shouldn’t say: “God wanted it this way.” or “It is God’s will.” This may be so. And it may be that we live in a fallen world where death and disease are part of it. But words said to minimize grief tend to make the mourning parent feel like they shouldn’t be sad. They may know that this was in God’s will, but they are still allowed to grieve.
  

• You shouldn’t: tell them you understand when you don’t. Even if you have experienced the loss of a baby, all of our stories are different: This couple may have struggled to get pregnant, this may not be their first loss. It may be her first child, or it may be her fourth (the grief will hit just as deeply, but the emotions and the reactions may be different). She may be waiting to miscarry yet, or she may not have found out until the miscarriage started. She may have had to experience a procedure called a D&C to remove the baby, or she may have had to deliver her baby at home, all alone in the bathroom. She may have to cancel orders for, or put away the maternity clothes. She may have to put away baby things. 

And all of us experience grief differently. Some women have to deal with anger, others extreme sadness. Many experience some    type of depression or anxiety and whether or not you’ve experienced a loss, you just can’t understand how she feels.

• You shouldn’t: call the baby “it”. One of the hardest things for a grieving mother to deal with is the fact that most of the medical community (especially for a loss in the first half of the pregnancy) medicalize what’s happening. The baby is only referred to as “tissue”, and they are almost afraid to humanize this little being, like somehow this will help a woman/couple get over their grief.

• You shouldn’t say: “it was just not meant to be.” Again, would you say this had they lost another family member? It’s just not helpful and can hurt.

• You shouldn’t: try to force them to “get over it” too quickly, before they are ready or when their grieving style is different than yours. We all go through the stages of grief differently, some quicker than others. The grief also comes in waves, one day they may be fine, the next may be quite difficult. Seemingly little things can bring back floods of emotion.
  

• You shouldn’t say: “you are getting up there in age and your eggs aren’t as perfect as they once were.” Most women start to blame themselves, that their body somehow did this. It’s hard enough for a grieving mother to comes to terms with the loss when she feels like she is somehow responsible.
  

• You shouldn’t say: “Be glad that he/she is in such a better place now.” Yes, this is true. But any parent who has lost a child can tell you that they would like to hold their child now. To enjoy them now, and watch them grow up, now. They know where their baby is, but it’s so hard to be glad about it.
  

• You shouldn’t: get mad at them or take it personally if they don’t call you immediately to tell you (even if you are a family member). Every person shares the news in the way that is most therapeutic for them, and sometimes having to speak over the phone about the loss of a baby when the grief is so fresh is extremely difficult.

• You shouldn’t say: “At least you weren’t that far along.” Would you say that it was better for someone to die at age 23 instead of 67? No matter how far along she was, the couple is still dealing with the loss of a baby and already fell in love with this little person. They most likely had already been planning out the logistics of bringing a new baby into the family. This was their baby, no matter how small.

• You shouldn’t ask: “what did you do wrong?” or “what was the problem?” Again, she may already be dealing with the issue of blaming herself for something she did, and asking this can cause a great amount of guilt. Most miscarriages, unless you’ve had multiple, are not usually ‘diagnosed’ and there is no testing done. So they may never know why their little one passed away.
  

• You shouldn’t forget: it takes time to heal, physically & emotionally. Sometimes the physical process of miscarriage is much overlooked. Even the medical community considers it like a heavy period. But on top of the bleeding (which sometimes can be so heavy it leaves the woman anemic for months) she also has to deal with the major hormone upheaval that happens after a pregnancy. She may need many weeks or even months to heal and spend time out of public eye.

• You shouldn’t: bring your new baby to “cheer them up”. Children should always be left at home when visiting a grieving family, especially infant babies when they’ve lost a baby themselves.

• You shouldn’t: imply that her loss isn’t that bad or compare her situation to someone else’s loss. Just because someone else has lost more babies, or were further along, or lost twins, doesn’t mean that this couple shouldn’t grieve as deeply.

• You shouldn’t: take it personally if she seems to avoid you or defriends you (or hides you) on facebook, especially if you are pregnant yourself. Losing a baby is difficult, and seeing a pregnant relative or friend’s belly grow each week can often be a painful reminder. So please give them space if that is what they need. Don’t forget about them, just know that some women need extra space.

•  You shouldn’t ask: “if/when they’ll have another child” or “ask if/when someone else will have another child”. First off, to put it bluntly, it’s none of your business. This couple may have dealt with infertility and have no idea when they’ll be able to conceive again, or afford more treatments. They may be dealing with physical issues due to the miscarriage that will prevent them from having another baby for some time. They may need more time to grieve or may be worried about a future pregnancy. And to the second comment, again, it’s just none of your business, or theirs, to know what any couple is doing to grow their family.

• You shouldn’t: surprise them around a group of people with news of your own pregnancy. Yes, your pregnancy should be received with joy, but many times it’s difficult for a couple (especially the woman) to be surprised by your news. Especially when it involves a group of people or public place. Don’t get me wrong – she will be happy for you, but many times she will also need to grieve the loss of her baby and the loss of her dream first. Telling her privately beforehand is a nice gesture.

• You shouldn’t ask: Is there anything I can do? A grieving family can rarely come up with something you can do to help. So when you ask, also ask specifics. (“Can I help clean, bring a meal, get groceries, etc)

• You shouldn’t: pressure them or tell them what to do regarding miscarriage inducing drugs or d&c. If you’ve been through a miscarriage or loss of a baby, share your experiences, but let them make their own decisions. Some women were grateful to have the option of a D&C, others preferred to miscarry at home.

photo credit: jlcernadas

You Should:

• You should say: “I am so sorry for your loss”

• You should: bring them a meal. The physical process of a miscarriage is much like the birth of a baby. She’ll go through contractions, many times it’s painful. The grief can be overwhelming for at least the first few weeks. People bring food after the birth of a baby, and people bring food after the loss of a family member. This is both, ask when you can bring them a meal.

• You should: give them a hug and let them know you care and are thinking about them.

• You should: Send them a card. Many times these are the only physical things that they can hold that are proof their baby existed. I can’t begin to tell you how precious those cards are that I received.

• You should: offer physical help. Taking out the garbage, washing dishes, mopping floors, take their dog for a walk, pick up groceries – these are the things they may be unable to do or to keep up on for the first few weeks. My sister came and washed my dishes after they’d piled up for over a week and it was a wonderful expression of her love. (and if they have other small children, you could offer to babysit – though they may want their children close by – or play with them outside)

• You should say: “I don’t know what to say, but I’m so sorry.”

• You should: share your own story of loss, gently, and without minimizing their pain. Women who have been there before can often times minister in such a special way.

• You should: be gentle in your speaking.

• You should: be a shoulder to cry on. In dealing with grief, people may cry. And while it can sometimes feel awkward talking to a crying person, know that they need to cry at that very moment. No words are needed.

• You should: pray for them. Let them know you are praying, ask them what their specific prayer requests are, pray with them.

• You should: encourage them to rest and take time to heal both physically and emotionally.

• You should: acknowledge there was a baby. Call it a baby, talk about the baby, mention their baby by name if they decided to name him/her.

• You should: listen when she needs to talk, reserving all judgment.

• You should: remember this child.  Write down the date of the loss or the due date and send a note letting them know you’re thinking about them. These dates, along with major holidays in that first year or two bring a lot of different emotions to surface. Mother’s remember their babies due dates and not a year goes by that most don’t take notice. The first few years are especially painful.

What else do you have to add? What did someone do for you during the loss of your baby that truly helped you?

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I’ve made a couple of large batches of this over the years, so you’ll have to forgive me for taking so long to get to this post.

It’s a simple process really, you buy vanilla beans and soak them in alcohol for a specific amount of time. And there is really no wrong way to do it, though there are approximately 354,759 different recipes on the internet.

Homemade Vanilla Extract

Ingredients
750ml of vodka (you can also use bourbon or rum)
15-20 vanilla beans (I buy mine from Mountain Rose Herbs)

You’ll also need either a mason jar or smaller jars if you’re gifting.

Method of Preparation

1. Take each vanilla bean and cut it to the length of your jar – you want to make sure it’s fully covered. Slice lengthwise through only half of it, keeping one end attached. You want to expose the beans, but not necessarily allow them to fall out into the vanilla. (While this isn’t a taste issue, it does make prettier vanilla extract if you don’t have a ton of beans floating about.)

2. Place beans in a quart size mason jar and cover with vodka.

3. Place the lid on and shake it gently. Each day for about a week or so, give it a couple of shakes. (I usually leave mine out on the counter during this time so I remember)

4. After a week or so, you can put the jar somewhere out-of-the-way, like a kitchen cupboard, and shake it gently just once a week. Or so.

The vanilla is ready to use after about 6 weeks, though the longer it sits, the better it tastes. Four months is absolute perfection. Just pour out the vanilla into another jar and then you can actually re-use the beans to make at least one more batch.

Tips and tricks:

• Most directions say to place it in a cool dark place – it’s what I do. But my friend Jodi put her homemade vanilla in the sun and it worked just fine.
• The vodka you buy DOES make a difference. Cheap stuff is, well…..cheap stuff. Buy at least a mid-priced vodka and you’ll get a better product.
• If you’re not used to buying alcohol and really have no idea what to buy, go to a liquor store. This way you can just ask the guy at the counter for a mid-priced vodka instead of standing at the supermarket feeling silly in front of a massive wall of booze.
• Jodi was also the one that bought a bunch of cute little jars for us to use.
• And she also made her vanilla IN those little jars.
• Katie used bourbon in her vanilla.
• And Crystal actually just put the vanilla beans in the jar of vodka. Uh…brilliant!

slicing through just half of the bean

immersed in vodka - now let it sit

Have you made your own vanilla before? What process do you use?

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When most people start thinking about healthier eating and cleaning up their diet, they easily get overwhelmed. And how can you not with all the information out there? All of a sudden everything in your kitchen looks toxic and you have no idea where to start. Or the idea of buying expensive organic and grass-fed products seem out of reach. These simple changes will get you headed in the right direction.

[Continue reading HERE.......]

This last weekend I started working on a few of my reading goals, and began the book Organized Simplicity by Tsh Oxenreider (who blogs at Simple Mom.

Ummmm, wow.

Couple of quotes from the book:

According to the Neilsen Company, the average American watches more than four hour of TV each day – that’s 28 hours per week, or two months of non-stop TV watching per year. In an eighty-year life, that person will have spent more than thirteen years glued to the tube.

TV has always been one of those things that I know I don’t really like, yet we always sit down at the end of the day with a loud sigh and veg out. For me, it’s about 2 hours each night, sometimes 3. And yes, sometimes I’m blogging or writing, sometimes reading, sometimes folding laundry, but I never really thought about how much of my YEAR I spent watching it. Even at the minimum of 2 hours a day, I’m still sitting an entire MONTH of my life on the couch in front of the TV.

Not cool.

Not cool at all.

Why on earth do we willingly hand over our physical health, our ability to self-entertain, and our time to an electronic box, and then moan that we never have enough time?

I’m enjoying this book as it’s really getting me to think about how I go about my day and the time wasters I allow between the things I find most important.

As for now, I’m leaving this screen before my time here turns to the black hole of social media. I might just hop on the treadmill for a couple of sprints, grab my herbal tea and a piece of peppermint bark, (from Katie’s book Smart Sweets) and curl up with Crazy Love. It’s raining and windy (not normal for Michigan in January!) and nothing sounds better than reading a book at the moment.

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Which, don’t get me wrong, is a very good thing!

But there are also days where I need to bring cookies to church or family functions, or bless my family with a treat. And for those days I now have a go-to recipe that has no sugar, not even honey or maple syrup.

Oatmeal Banana Cookies

Ingredients
1 1/2 cups rolled oats
1 cup unsweetened coconut flakes
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 cup of almond meal
1/2 cup almonds, finely chopped
1 cup raisins (or other dried fruit)
3 ripe bananas, mashed
2 eggs
1/4 cup melted coconut oil or butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Method of Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. In a large bowl, combine all dry ingredients until well mixed.

3. In another bowl, mix together the mashed bananas, eggs, oil, and vanilla. Stir into the dry mixture.

4. Place approximately 2 Tbsp of the mixture on the cookie sheet for each cookie. I used a round cookie cutter to make them, lightly pressing it into the cutter for each one.

5. Bake for 18-20 minutes, just until they begin to brown.

I love finding simple recipes like this, and all of the ingredients are pantry staples for me. I also love taking recipes that most people deem as “healthy” and making them “unhealthy” again! This recipe is an adaptation of one I found on Pinterest a couple of weeks ago. The original had no saturated fats or eggs.

So I added them back in.

And no – these aren’t ‘properly soaked’ cookies. I can deal with that since they are void of sugar. These are best when eaten the same day as they were baked. Or at least while warmed back up. I think what I’m going to have to do is  mesh it with my baked oatmeal recipe……

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That was last year.

As I stood in line for my very first ride, the excitement mounting, I was barely able to stand waiting a moment more for my turn. Grinning from ear to ear, palms sweating, clasping on to the ones closest to me. Talking faster, jumping up and down.

I greeted last year with the same anticipation. Knowing exciting things were right on the horizon. I couldn’t wait to see what would happen, what opportunities I’d be presented with.

I buckled in, my heart about ready to explode. The ride was just about to start and I was so elated I could hardly sit still. If I was any more excited I might just burst into a million pieces!

Last spring I was offered a book contract, something I never expected to happen. My 30th birthday came around in June and not only did my sister surprise me with tickets to the New Kids concert, my husband set up a surprise party for me with my family – my first surprise party ever. Life was exciting! So many awesome things were happening.

All of a sudden the ride starts and we begin inching upwards, any higher and I swear I could touch the heavens. This is it. This is what I was waiting for.

I remember so vividly the answered prayer requests, the seemingly unending joy I experienced each day. I was writing a book about natural fertility and found out weeks before it was finished that I was expecting my third baby. I once shared with a friend

“Two very specific things I’ve been praying for, for almost a decade, have happened in the last two weeks. Feeling so insanely blessed and thankful as He continues to pour out His blessings. Not that we may never have hard times ahead, of course, but we are thoroughly enjoying our life right now!! “

And then it happened. Instead of being on top of the world, I was peering over the edge. Falling and breathless, my stomach in knots. There was no getting off the ride now.

My miscarriage. The loss of my baby. The loss of a dream for what my life was going to be like, what his life was going to be like.

photo credit: kingdatoro

I normally do a year end recap here on the blog, but I just can’t get myself to do it this year. So much happened. Two thousand eleven was literally one of the best years of my life. And it was also the worst year of my life. The Lord has been gracious and kind to us in our mourning and we’ve changed and grown in so many ways. We are better after everything we’ve gone through.

I look back on this year with such mixed emotions, with hesitation look ahead to the next.

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I used to be quite attached to sugar as I’m sure some of you are, but I had no idea how to reduce my consumption and then replace refined sugars with natural ones.

Whether you’re just starting on your journey to ‘real’ and natural foods, or you’ve been on this road for some time and just need a bit of encouragement, this ebook is for you!

As our Standard American Diet dictates, most of us are addicted to refined sugars. Not only do we dump them into our coffee, and inhale cookies, it’s hidden in almost every processed food we buy. And the problem is, the more we eat it, the more our body craves it.

Along with the 8 weekly challenges you’ll also find:

• My Story with Sugar
• What’s Wrong with Sugar
• Know Your Good Sugars
• Dealing with Cravings
• Links to recipes using natural sweeteners

To download this free ebook, just subscribe to either the daily or weekly email blog updates! If you’re already a subscriber, you’ll see a link at the bottom of your email. This link will take you to the page of free subscriber downloads. (also available are the “Naturally Balanced” and “Is Your Flour Wet?” ebooks!)
Daily Updates:

Weekly Updates:

You can also sign up for the Naturally Knocked Up Community to receive support from others working to eat healthier and reduce their sugar intake.

Remember – you don’t have to sign up again if you already get our emails! Just check the bottom of your emails for a link to the subscriber downloads page.

Enjoy!

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So when Emily of Simply Cleansing asked me if I wanted to try out and review some of her handmade soaps, I jumped at the chance. We happen to have a mutual friend who also recommended these soaps to me, so I knew they came with good reviews.

All of their soaps are made from plant oils and essential oils, no fillers or chemicals. And they smell fantastic. Like good enough that you want to taste them.

But don’t.

They don’t taste like they smell. Not that I know about that personally…… *ahem*.

I asked to try the lavender and peppermint. You know, getting both aspects of the spectrum; one to relax and one to energize. But she also sent me a couple more bars: spearmint and cinnamon.  And oh sweet mercy, I love those two scents even more! The spearmint especially. This one I may not let anyone else use.

My favorite part is that they actually work. They lather and the lather is smooth, and stays lathered while you wash. So even when you put the bar of soap down and scrub, you still have lather in your hands.

These bars are a real winner in my opinion.

And Simply Cleansing has also graciously decided to host a giveaway here! Two lucky readers are going to receive their choice of FOUR soap bars. A value of $12.00.

For those that can’t wait or want to buy some extra bars for loved ones, you can also get one bar free for every four bars you order. Just head to the Simply Cleansing website, order your 4 bars, and note which free bar you want in the comments when you pay.

To enter:

• leave a comment on this blog post

Extra Entries:

(leave a separate comment for each extra entry)

• “like” the Naturally Knocked Up Facebook page
• Check out Simply Cleansing and leave a comment with the scent you think you’d like best
• Subscribe to NKU by RSS, daily email updates, or weekly updates
• Let me know if you’re participating in the Naturally Balanced Challenge

This giveaway is going to be a quick one – it ends Friday, December 16 at 8am.

Giveaway Fine Print

1) giveaway item will be your choice of 4 soap bars from Simply Cleansing. 2)Entrants must be over 18 and have a US mailing address. 3) Giveaway to run from 12/14/2011 to 12/16/2011 at 8:00AM. 4) Entries will be considered when left as a comment, valid e-mail address required, maximum 6 entries per person when using the extra entires. 5) Winner will be chosen via random number. 6) Duplicate entries will be deleted if found, contest will be extended is site issues come up. 7 ) giveaway sponsored by Simply Cleansing No purchase necessary to win. 9) Prize not redeemable for cash. 10)Naturally Knocked Up, LLC is not liable for any injury or damage to persons and/or things as a result of the acceptance of the prize offered.

Also? I was sent the soap free of charge in exchange for an honest review. Opinions are 100% mine.

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Donielle contacted me recently because so many of her readers were complaining of having a low body temperature – something that is very common, practically universal, among women with standard menstrual and fertility issues. Since I’m notorious for making women hot, yeah baby, and I even have a “Hot Chicks Club” for all the women who have obtained a consistent waking luteal phase body temperature of 99 degrees Fahrenheit or higher… I guess I’m the go-to guy on this issue.

While I could soften it and explain the particulars of the science and massage you into accepting that the advice I have has validity, I think it might be best if I just keep it simple. And slap you upside the head with it. If you would like to find out more about the basis of why the following information works so well (and I have 30,000 comments on my website confirming that it does indeed work very well – for raising body temperature, restoring menstruation, improving fertility, and many other metabolism-related disorders), I have put out several materials on it – the best and most recent being Diet Recovery: Restoring Hormonal Health, Metabolism, Mood, and Your Relationship with Food. 

So let’s get on with it.

The quick explanation of the problem at hand is that if the human body goes through the supply of something faster than it is being delivered, the body downregulates metabolism to slow down the rate at which it burns through stuff (namely calories and nutrients). There are other factors involved, most of them hereditary in nature (but can still be overcome with the right approach).

In a world in which we have developed serious calorie phobia, carbohydrate phobia, fat phobia, couch potato phobia, saturated fat and cholesterol phobia, and more – almost all women in today’s society have grown so accustomed to actively eating below appetite, with dietary restriction, and exercising vigorously that they don’t even realize that they are basically engaged in disordered eating.

This is particularly harmful to women who are already coming into the world with a suppressed metabolism, which is becoming increasingly common due to our nutrient-poor diet, the dieting our mothers did (kids of dieting mothers have a known increased risk of obesity and type 2 diabetes), chronic physiological stressors, and countless other factors.

To make a long story short, if you have a reduced morning body temperature (this is the most important time to check as this is the best indicator of your absolute lowest metabolic rate), cold hands and feet (another powerful indicator of low metabolism), or other signs of a low metabolism (constipation, frequent infection, yeast issues, chronic fatigue, low sex drive, abnormal menstrual cycle, thinning hair, puffy eyes or water retention, poor fingernail growth, poor strength, hypoglycemia, and others) – the typical modern approach of beating yourself into submission with dietary restriction (even just being a health nut) and lots of “cardio” exercise will take you much farther away from a healthy metabolism. It is counterproductive and worsens the underlying disorder.

Dr. Atkins perhaps said it best when he wrote…

“…remember that prolonged dieting (this one [meaning the Atkins diet], low-fat, low-calorie, or a combination) tends to shut down thyroid function. This is usually not a problem with the thyroid gland (therefore blood tests are likely to be normal) but with the liver, which fails to convert T4 into the more active thyroid principle, T3. The diagnosis is made on clinical ground with the presence of fatigue, sluggishness, dry skin, coarse or falling hair, an elevation in cholesterol, or a low body temperature. I ask my patients to take four temperature readings daily before the three meals and near bedtime. If the average of all these temperatures, taken for at least three days, is below 97.8 degrees F (36.5 C), that is usually low enough to point to this form of thyroid problem; lower readings than that are even more convincing.”

Keep in mind that the metabolic rate – the active thyroid in your system being a primary factor in your metabolic rate, determines the rate at which pregnenalone is converted to progesterone – the pro-gestation hormone. That’s why, when metabolism is low, fertility is poor. When metabolism increases, your chances of conception and a successful pregnancy skyrocket. I highly recommend going through the following steps to anyone looking to get pregnant – whether having problems or not. Having a high metabolism going into pregnancy, and producing abundant progesterone has all kinds of benefits to the offspring – from increased brain size/development to increased ratio of muscle mass to body fat. And it’s good for moms too. Progesterone increases the elasticity of cervical tissues! Making childbirth a LOT less painful.

Alright, so we’re finally getting to the useful stuff. If you consistently have a body temperature below 98 degrees F when you wake up in the morning (rectal temps being the most reliable), you can fix this. It is not hard, unless you consider being on vacation and spa days hard. It is very common for people of all ages, male and female, to see increases in body temperature from as low as 95F to 98F and above in less than 30 days. It really is that simple and reliable. The hard part is getting people to try it because it sounds so strange in contrast to the exercise more/eat less, ‘carbs are the devil’ and/or ‘saturated fat is the devil’ and ‘no pain no gain’ brainwashing that has taken place over the last half century.

To raise body temperature and increase your chances of having a successful pregnancy…

1. Eat as much nutritious food as you can every day. Emphasize the more calorie-dense unrefined carbohydrates like root vegetables, fruit, and grains in particular, but also eat a satisfying amount of meat, fat, dairy products (milk is incredible for body temperature), and whatever else that you find enjoyable. But keep it as nutritious and unprocessed as possible.
2. Eat beyond appetite. This is key. Eating more than you want to eat is what forces your body to get out of its low metabolism rut.
3. Go at least 12 hours straight per day without food – you don’t want to be overeating for more than half the day. So if you eat dinner at 7pm, have breakfast at 7am. I believe this practice can make the body more responsive to the hormone leptin, probably the most important hormone in fertility (because it raises thyroid and progesterone).
4. Get as much sleep as possible. Sleep is an incredibly powerful tool for raising metabolism.
5. Avoid vigorous exercise. This is not a permanent recommendation obviously. You can resume getting more vigorous exercise once your body temperature is fully restored.
6. Emphasize saturated fats over unsaturated fats. Dairy products, red meat, and coconut products are the best source of dietary saturated fats. You should eat these preferentially over nuts, seeds, vegetable oils, avocado, and other plant fats – as well as pork and poultry, when possible.
7. De-stress. While eating a lot, sleeping a lot, and avoiding excessive exercise is inherently de-stressing, it also pays to spend time doing something that you find leisurely or enjoyable and mentally and physically relaxing, which is highly individual. Massage and sunbathing would be my two personal favorites!

And, well. That’s all there is to it.

Enjoy.

Note – you will probably not feel well when you start doing this, but will feel bloated, hungover, and extremely fatigued and drowsy. Those are not bad signs, but signs of deep physiological relaxation and/or signs of adjustment to the new transition. Be patient. Give it a full 30-day trial.

Matt Stone, author of 7 books, is an independent health researcher who emphasizes the dangers of dieting and restricted and restrained eating of many varieties, and raising metabolism naturally. He is the voice of www.180degreehealth.com

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