Graciousness of Friendship

guest post by Anna

When the rubber hits the road……

……some people run to their spouse, some to their family, and some just hope that there are others out there who have faced the same difficulties for which they can offer a sympathetic ear.

That is what it was like for me when I discovered I was infertile. I just wanted to know that I was not alone. I wanted to know that someone else was grieving this ‘lost dream’ as well.

I knew that I never would learn of that “other person” if I hid my situation. So, I did what many might think of as the scary road: I opened up. I expressed. And I found friends – infertile and fertile – that would support me through it all. And by it all – I mean just about everything medically possible for conception, including but not limited to IVF. And with each attempt the rubber hit the road more: no conception, needing heart surgery (I’m fine now… with doctor’s blessing to continue to try to conceive), and just this past year, two miscarriages.

How have I gotten through it? My friends. The graciousness of friends who were willing to open their homes at inconvenient times just so that my husband, David, and I would not be tempted to wallow in misery…. or practically, tire us out so much that by the time we got home we had no option but to sleep. These friends have prayed for us, spoken the words of God to us, and held onto hope for us, even when our trust is failing. What better working definition of grace, could there be?

As much as I grieve infertility, it is truly my biggest praise to know that I am not alone. And because, I am grateful for that, I want to be sure that others are not alone. You see, God calls us to rejoice with those that rejoice and mourn with those that mourn. He has spoken these words to me specifically.

And because I choose to obey, I have had the blessing of walking through the wait and rejoicing at the placement of a precious child, Abigail, into a my dear friends, Andrea and Jason’s, barren arms. And now, I am reminded that the same compassion God provided to me, when David and I met this couple, is the same compassion that they showed to us when they had us in their home after my miscarriages.

It’s with this same compassion that I now strive to give to others, and more specifically to Andrea and Jason, as they have found out their 2.5 year old daughter, Abigail, has a genetic disorder that causes tumors. A tumor on her leg quadrupled in size, literally overnight, a few weeks ago. She will need to have it removed, but their insurance will not cover the surgery. And so I pray for them as they have prayed for me.

The Circle of Compassion.

How have others shown compassion to you in your time of struggles?


*to learn more about little Abigail and what her little body is faced with you can read Andrea and Jason’s blog.

Check out this month\'s sponsor, Natural Fertility Shop. They are 100% focused on helping you during your journey towards parenthood and have expert staff and knowledgeable customer service here to help you every step of the way.

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About Donielle

Donielle is an amateur herbalist and natural momma to two littles (with another babe in heaven) after dealing with being less than fertile. She has a passion for nourishing nutrition, natural living, and spreading the word on how food truly affects our health.


  1. I’m so glad you found support and compassion during your struggle. After I learned that my pregnancy was not viable at 18 weeks due to triploidy, the world closed in around me. There are still times when I would rather hide and feel angry, sad, and resentful. At the same time, when people learned what had happened, family and friends, close and not, shared their experiences with me. We all know how common miscarriages and pregnancy complications are, but it helps to hear from others who have endured and come out the other side. My journey is ongoing, every month my hopes are high and then dashed, but I know I wouldn’t be where I am without the support of my family, friends, random strangers, and most of all, my husband.