Breaking up with Weston A Price {the end of nutrition as I know it}

Dear Weston,

We’ve had a good run these last few years, but it’s at this point in our relationship that I feel we need to part ways.

At the beginning of our relationship you were new and exciting, rebellious in nature. You were the kind of man I was always told to stay away from.  Being with you was exhilarating, everyday learning something new, trying something new, tasting something new. I felt like I was seeing the world through new eyes and with new taste buds. My heart fell in love with you even when my body and education told me you were no good.

You see dearest Weston, your love of saturated fats fit well with my habit of eating copious amounts of butter. And beef. And cheese. Your love for travel and photography pulled me in like no other hobbies could.

But, I’m sorry my love, it is time for us to part ways. But please don’t worry, it’s me, not you and your soggy bread. You had good intentions and I know you meant well, but I’ve had a new awakening within myself.

You see, I have a new man in my life. His name is Andrew D. Wilson and he’s the head researcher at the Harvard Food Science and Nutrition Institute, and well…..he’s my new love. Andrew, or Andy as only I call him, has also spent his life traveling. In fact, we’re still traveling and going on new adventures (unlike yourself), so each day is something new. He’s the best I’ve ever had in the kitchen. And my hips thank him endlessly now that we can see them again.

In study after study he’s proved to me what real eating is and I’m finally seeing the world in color again instead of shades of milk and liver. So much of what you’ve taught me (and what I believed) was only true because I wanted it to be. I wanted to cave into my bad habits, I wanted the acceptance to eat as I wished. I wanted to believe that following my ancestors traditions, as you were, would lead to a better life for myself and my family. I actually feel rather betrayed that I trusted you so much, when so much of what you said was so very false.

It’s been a tough decision for me, one I’ve been mulling over for months now, but we must make a clean break to clean my arteries. I’m sure a man like yourself will no doubt find many other women to seduce with your rich and indulgent foods. You’ll be better off I’m sure with someone who can eat her weight in bacon.

Sincerely,

Donielle

 

 

For those of you that know me well, I know this is a complete shocker, but I’ve put on a false front for a long time now (such things happen when relationships go bad). But please don’t worry or stress I love you very much and always will, this is NOT your fault. I can also speak for Weston here for just a minute and say he still loves you too. Your life won’t change, you just won’t see us together anymore. And dearest readers, I have just one more thought to share………..

April Fools.

(I was totally just going to leave it at the letter and have it just be really funny to come back later and say it, but was afraid y’all might just unsubscribe! Then I’d be busy e-mailing sorry letters!)

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About Donielle

Donielle is an amateur herbalist and natural momma to two littles (with another babe in heaven) after dealing with being less than fertile. She has a passion for nourishing nutrition, natural living, and spreading the word on how food truly affects our health.

Comments

  1. Way too funny! You had me for sure! :-)

    Shirley

  2. Wow, you totally had me! I was starting to really worry. Such a relief to see the April Fools at the end :)

  3. hmmm, hope everyone reads all the way to the end…. or you may have a “war of the worlds” on your hands…

  4. I had to pull my jaw up off the floor… nice work:)

  5. Ok… now I’m totally going to need you to post on all the reasons this was an April Fools joke. I get so confused. :)

    You totally had me!!!!!!

  6. Love a good April Fool’s!

  7. Although I don’t agree with everything Mr. Price says your letter had me a bit worried! Cute April Fools!

    Toni

  8. Jasmine says:

    Wow, I couldn’t believe it either. I thought, here I spent good money on buying books that endorse/promote his way of eating, and now I find out that I have it all wrong. Eeekkkkss! I’m glad you put April fools on the end of it!

  9. Whew! I was *really* concerned! My heart was in my throat, I just could not believe what I was reading, or that my friend Michael was on board with it too!
    Thanks for letting this be nothing more than an April Fool’s joke, as i don’t know how much of this I could have taken-a total paradigm shift!!!

  10. So how long did you think on this one? Very funny!

  11. Nichole says:

    OMG!!! You SOOOO got me!!!!! {[blushing!}]

  12. Oh my gosh. I was so scared while I was reading that.

  13. Oh my goodness! You totally got me!! I was sitting here saying out-loud, “What in the WORLD?!” Glad you cleared it up!! 😛 Happy April Fools!

  14. You are so baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  15. You totally had me! I HATE APRIL FOOLS!

  16. You had me for a minute there…So glad you’re not really leaving the fold. :-)

  17. I was a little worried as I read that! Thanks for the laugh!

  18. Good One! I was about the hit the unsubscribe button! April Fools! Blessings to you!

  19. I’m a brand new reader to your site, and pretty new to the Weston Price way of thinking (translation…. i still have white flour and sugar in my kitchen…) – I couldn’t believe what I was reading!

    Not only do you have my admiration for such a well played April Fool’s card – but you’ve also acquired a new reader! Thanks!

  20. Heather says:

    Not sure if it was the set up yesterday on Twitter or new baby mushy brain, but you got me. BTW- my 9 day old daughter thanks you for your advice and love of WAP.

  21. Oh my goodness, that was a serious April Fools, you really had me!

  22. You got me…..good job!!!!!

  23. Whew…..just popped over when I saw this come through my Twitter stream…..again can I sigh in relief!! I was about to start researching this Andy guy…haha. Love my bacon!!! :)

  24. Oh man, you totally had me! I’m just beginning on the WP way and was thinking, ‘Oh no! I’ve got to rethink everything again!’

  25. Oh my goodness- you totally got me! I was sitting there in total shock! Lol! I’m so glad you were joking!

  26. Bravo, well played!! I was a bit concerned for your welfare… glad to know you are safe and sound in Weston’s arms.

  27. WOW! I haven’t been had on April Fools Day in years … My hats off to you, O’ Queen of the practical joke! You really got me good! What a relief you were kidding. I thought you’d gone off the deep end, without a stick of butter in hand. ha ha!! Thanks for getting my heart rate up! Glad you’re not really breaking up with Weston or us! Blessings, Kelly

  28. Savannah says:

    Best April Fool’s ever.

    My brow was furrowing deeper with every sentence I read. Preparing my heart for the worst – thinking everything I had just recently devoted myself to was wrong!
    Loved it, thanks!

  29. WOW!!! You so had me… That was really good.

  30. HaHaHa! Good thing Andrew D. Wilson didn’t come up on google! I was on high alert!!

  31. Good one!

  32. You REALLY got me too! What a great trick – lol! Great job!

  33. hehehe, that was so funny! Way to be creative!

  34. Argh! I don’t like April Fool’s…unless I’m doing the fooling! 😉 I confess that I have officially been duped. Well done!

  35. Sarah Bauer says:

    That was great! I was seriously trying to figure out where you were headed nutritionally with that letter. Well played!

  36. I echo everyone else – you totally got me! I can’t think of the last time I got fooled so badly on 4/1! Great joke! Now, I just need to slow my pulse down a little. Think I’ll go eat some butter off the knife and drink a glass of raw milk…

  37. Heeeehhaa heee. Laughing so hard that the raw milk I was drinking came out of nose. Love a good joke, thanks!

  38. OMG, I just read this today and was seriously going to cry. Glad to see that it was just a joke even though I was a little slow to get to it.

  39. Haha!! I started reading and since it’s April 3rd, I took you seriously until I got to the end. What a relief!

  40. Yep, I was shocked at first…especially since it’s not April 1 anymore! I did figure it out before I read “April Fools” though :) And I *love* the line about “you and your soggy bread.” TOO funny!! :) Thanks for the laugh! Super well-written :)